Saturday, 17 November 2007
I don't like to be beside the seaside
The towns of Morecambe and Cleethorpes have more in common than their fourth division football clubs. Both are coastal resorts, currently recovering from decades of decline in English seaside tourism. Both have recently closed down major local landmarks. Cleethorpes' demolition of the Winter Gardens is a literally monumental act of stupidity – as was Morecambe's decision to build the World of Crinkley Bottom theme park in the first place.
Meggies definitely seems on the up, though. All those new cafés are a bit posh. Enormous red men now break bottles over each other's shaved heads around the Riverhead rather than the seafront. Property prices are leaping, and little kids on the beach can paddle and build sandcastles instead of playing the old favourite seaside game of guess-whether-that-sewage-is-human-or-canine.
It's all the sadder, then, that Cleethorpes' revival has coincided with a slump in the fortunes of its football club. Just as the resort has again become a place people want to go to, Blundell Park has become a place people can't get out of quickly enough. Even the most sympathetic observer would admit that one or two of the players who have turned out for the Mariners in this decade seemed less suited to professional football than giving rides to children along Cleethorpes beach.
There are plenty more donkeys in the fourth division, of course, and consumer-minded spectators choose to take their custom elsewhere. The people of North East Lincolnshire notoriously 'support' Liverpool and Manchester United rather than their local club – and while the great Eric Morecambe may have taken his stage name from his beloved home town, when he joined the board of a football club it was Luton. Comedy aficionados recognise this as the greatest gag of his career.
The Mariners' football, furthermore, at times bears a striking resemblance to Eric's technique on the piano. Right now Alan Buckley's players are making all the right passes – just not necessarily in the right order.
And even if Morecambe are enjoying their Football League debut this season, and the resort is recovering strongly from the 'Blobbygate' scandal, Noel Edmonds' theme park lasted only 13 weeks – roughly the same as most of Town's recent managerial appointments.
Like Cleethorpes, Morecambe saw a fine art deco building become one of its most famous monuments. But rather than demolish its glorious Midland Hotel, or let it fall apart, the town has rallied to invest in this asset and restore it to its former splendour.
And the only hope for Town fans is that the population of Grimsby and Cleethorpes can discover the same sense of what's worth preserving. If the Mariners are not to go the same way as the Winter Gardens, local people will need to demonstrate that they can tell their Crinkley Bottom from their elbow.
Meggies definitely seems on the up, though. All those new cafés are a bit posh. Enormous red men now break bottles over each other's shaved heads around the Riverhead rather than the seafront. Property prices are leaping, and little kids on the beach can paddle and build sandcastles instead of playing the old favourite seaside game of guess-whether-that-sewage-is-human-or-canine.
It's all the sadder, then, that Cleethorpes' revival has coincided with a slump in the fortunes of its football club. Just as the resort has again become a place people want to go to, Blundell Park has become a place people can't get out of quickly enough. Even the most sympathetic observer would admit that one or two of the players who have turned out for the Mariners in this decade seemed less suited to professional football than giving rides to children along Cleethorpes beach.
There are plenty more donkeys in the fourth division, of course, and consumer-minded spectators choose to take their custom elsewhere. The people of North East Lincolnshire notoriously 'support' Liverpool and Manchester United rather than their local club – and while the great Eric Morecambe may have taken his stage name from his beloved home town, when he joined the board of a football club it was Luton. Comedy aficionados recognise this as the greatest gag of his career.
The Mariners' football, furthermore, at times bears a striking resemblance to Eric's technique on the piano. Right now Alan Buckley's players are making all the right passes – just not necessarily in the right order.
And even if Morecambe are enjoying their Football League debut this season, and the resort is recovering strongly from the 'Blobbygate' scandal, Noel Edmonds' theme park lasted only 13 weeks – roughly the same as most of Town's recent managerial appointments.
Like Cleethorpes, Morecambe saw a fine art deco building become one of its most famous monuments. But rather than demolish its glorious Midland Hotel, or let it fall apart, the town has rallied to invest in this asset and restore it to its former splendour.
And the only hope for Town fans is that the population of Grimsby and Cleethorpes can discover the same sense of what's worth preserving. If the Mariners are not to go the same way as the Winter Gardens, local people will need to demonstrate that they can tell their Crinkley Bottom from their elbow.
Labels: buildings, cleethorpes, morecambe, seaside, support
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