Friday, 4 April 2008
Rain stopped play
Football. It doesn't really matter, does it? Twenty-two men kicking a pig's bladder about a bit of grass, and all that. There's real life, and then there's the football fan stereotype that advertisers use to try and sell us things – the one who paints his house in his club's colours and names his kids after the entire 1972 fourth division championship team.
But while football's profiteers exaggerate its importance, other sports just keep ticking along. And perhaps football could learn a thing or two from one of them – at a time when Sky TV is allowed to invent something called 'Grand Slam Sunday' and run trailers with apocalyptic soundtracks implying that every televised match is roughly on a par with the next global climate change summit in terms of its importance to the future of the human race.
The great thing about cricket is the draw. And particularly, the draw that occurs because it starts raining and the match runs out of time. Four or five entire days of sweat, toil and heroic endeavour can be nullified just because an area of moderate low pressure drifting in from the mid-Atlantic makes it drizzle a bit over certain areas of Hampshire.
This is brilliant because it's exactly like life. We've all been in the position equivalent to the cusp of a crushing innings victory, ready to revel gloriously in our mighty planet-stopping prowess, only to be thwarted by the equivalent of the rain stopping play. Furthermore, it acknowledges that cricket isn't the be-all and end-all. It says "yes, OK – it's only a game, and the course of global civilisation won't be altered as a result".
And before the morons who run the Premier League pulled out their staggeringly unpopular 'Game 39' idea, their counterparts at the Football League came up with a corker of their own. Remember Sir Brian Mawhinney's attempt to 'settle' every drawn match with a penalty shoot-out? Wondering why he's still in a job? Me too.
So let's turn the tables. Every match postponed because of the weather, instead of being rescheduled, should just be deemed a draw. A point is awarded to both teams in the normal way. A point is made that football doesn't really matter much in the grand scheme of things. And imagine the difference it will make to the problems of springtime fixture congestion!
Most significantly of all, the club most affected would be Rochdale, where Town are headed tomorrow. Spotland is notoriously prone to waterlogging, and awarding a draw for all postponed matches would deprive Dale of around 24 points per season – catapulting the Mariners above them into the play-off places. Not that football matters very much, but promotion might be nice at some point.
But while football's profiteers exaggerate its importance, other sports just keep ticking along. And perhaps football could learn a thing or two from one of them – at a time when Sky TV is allowed to invent something called 'Grand Slam Sunday' and run trailers with apocalyptic soundtracks implying that every televised match is roughly on a par with the next global climate change summit in terms of its importance to the future of the human race.
The great thing about cricket is the draw. And particularly, the draw that occurs because it starts raining and the match runs out of time. Four or five entire days of sweat, toil and heroic endeavour can be nullified just because an area of moderate low pressure drifting in from the mid-Atlantic makes it drizzle a bit over certain areas of Hampshire.
This is brilliant because it's exactly like life. We've all been in the position equivalent to the cusp of a crushing innings victory, ready to revel gloriously in our mighty planet-stopping prowess, only to be thwarted by the equivalent of the rain stopping play. Furthermore, it acknowledges that cricket isn't the be-all and end-all. It says "yes, OK – it's only a game, and the course of global civilisation won't be altered as a result".
And before the morons who run the Premier League pulled out their staggeringly unpopular 'Game 39' idea, their counterparts at the Football League came up with a corker of their own. Remember Sir Brian Mawhinney's attempt to 'settle' every drawn match with a penalty shoot-out? Wondering why he's still in a job? Me too.
So let's turn the tables. Every match postponed because of the weather, instead of being rescheduled, should just be deemed a draw. A point is awarded to both teams in the normal way. A point is made that football doesn't really matter much in the grand scheme of things. And imagine the difference it will make to the problems of springtime fixture congestion!
Most significantly of all, the club most affected would be Rochdale, where Town are headed tomorrow. Spotland is notoriously prone to waterlogging, and awarding a draw for all postponed matches would deprive Dale of around 24 points per season – catapulting the Mariners above them into the play-off places. Not that football matters very much, but promotion might be nice at some point.
Labels: cricket, draws, game 39, mawhinney, perspective, premiership, rochdale, sky, weather
Friday, 21 March 2008
Nice work if you can get it
"Things like that you just cannot understand. There is nothing you can do. The rules are the rules and the players must go." These are the words of the Liverpool manager Rafael Benítez. He is unhappy that one of his players, Javier Mascherano, has been called up by his national team, Argentina, to play a friendly in Egypt next week.
Whenever footballers travel thousands of miles around the world to play unnecessary extra matches we invariably hear a chorus of bitter howls of protest by managers in the Premier League, whose recent 'Game 39' proposal would mean footballers travelling thousands of miles around the world to play unnecessary extra matches.
And there are already all those lucrative friendlies in the USA, China and the United Arab Emirates. But then the Premier League is full of contradictions. In 1990 England reached the semi-finals of the World Cup. On paper at least, this made them one of the top four teams in the world. Then the Premier League was set up, and they told us it would improve the England team. A decade and a half later, England aren't even one of the top 16 teams in Europe.
The recurring theme among these paradoxes, though, is this notion that footballers shouldn't actually play football very much. Perhaps we need to recognise, however, that in the Premier League football is essentially a distraction from shopping for Aston Martins, getting drunk and crashing them into walls, and doing photoshoots for the 12-page piece in Hello! magazine about your tacky wedding to a temporary pop star with an orange face.
Town have two games this weekend, and by the time they leave the pitch at Wembley next Sunday they will have played eight times in 30 days. Rafael Benítez ought to see how he likes that – and let's not forget that, while Alan Buckley has to choose from a squad of 20, Liverpool currently have ten players out on loan and shirts that go up to 42, 45 and 48. You could choose your lottery numbers from that, be the sole winner on a rollover week, and still have less than the Liverpool squad earns in a week.
It's often overlooked that, beyond Arsenal and Manchester United (and maybe Tottenham when they feel like it), there isn't really that much attractive, skilful football to be seen in the Premier League. It's all about pace, strength and endurance. But if there weren't this obsession with fitness and avoiding 'player burnout', then the top players in England would have to overcome their opponents with passing and ball control instead.
And then maybe, just maybe, the England team really would improve. Although that might take a few less Aston Martins and Hello! weddings as well.
Whenever footballers travel thousands of miles around the world to play unnecessary extra matches we invariably hear a chorus of bitter howls of protest by managers in the Premier League, whose recent 'Game 39' proposal would mean footballers travelling thousands of miles around the world to play unnecessary extra matches.
And there are already all those lucrative friendlies in the USA, China and the United Arab Emirates. But then the Premier League is full of contradictions. In 1990 England reached the semi-finals of the World Cup. On paper at least, this made them one of the top four teams in the world. Then the Premier League was set up, and they told us it would improve the England team. A decade and a half later, England aren't even one of the top 16 teams in Europe.
The recurring theme among these paradoxes, though, is this notion that footballers shouldn't actually play football very much. Perhaps we need to recognise, however, that in the Premier League football is essentially a distraction from shopping for Aston Martins, getting drunk and crashing them into walls, and doing photoshoots for the 12-page piece in Hello! magazine about your tacky wedding to a temporary pop star with an orange face.
Town have two games this weekend, and by the time they leave the pitch at Wembley next Sunday they will have played eight times in 30 days. Rafael Benítez ought to see how he likes that – and let's not forget that, while Alan Buckley has to choose from a squad of 20, Liverpool currently have ten players out on loan and shirts that go up to 42, 45 and 48. You could choose your lottery numbers from that, be the sole winner on a rollover week, and still have less than the Liverpool squad earns in a week.
It's often overlooked that, beyond Arsenal and Manchester United (and maybe Tottenham when they feel like it), there isn't really that much attractive, skilful football to be seen in the Premier League. It's all about pace, strength and endurance. But if there weren't this obsession with fitness and avoiding 'player burnout', then the top players in England would have to overcome their opponents with passing and ball control instead.
And then maybe, just maybe, the England team really would improve. Although that might take a few less Aston Martins and Hello! weddings as well.
Labels: celebrity, england, fixture congestion, friendlies, game 39, liverpool, premiership, workload
Subscribe to Posts [Atom]