Friday, 30 November 2007
Booo, sort it Browns
If you're travelling by rail to tomorrow's FA Cup tie, the first thing you'll see of Huddersfield is a striking bronze statue of Harold Wilson, who was born in the town and served twice as prime minister in the 1960s and 70s. (The statue stands eight feet tall. Rumours once suggested that Russell Slade wanted it to play alongside Justin Whittle, Rob Jones and Ben Futcher in Town's defence.)
Wilson was the first media-friendly PM, cosying up to the Beatles and reeling off smile after smile after soundbite to distract the people from impending economic catastrophe. In this he bears a striking resemblance to Lennie Lawrence, the smooth-talking Town boss who told us the 2001 cup win at Liverpool was "the best result in the club's history" while his team was plunging down the league and recovering from a Chinese centre-half on £12,000 a week.
There are plenty more uncanny similarities between British prime ministers and managers of Grimsby Town. Sir Alec Douglas-Home was Wilson's foe in the 1964 general election. He may have been a doddery old Tory toff, while Nicky Law could have doubled for a terrifying nightclub doorman – but both were in the job for barely five minutes, both still managed to leave things in an even bigger mess than when they began, and people forget they both even existed until some tactless klutz reminds them. (Sorry about that.)
Between Wilson's two premierships came Edward Heath, whose spell in charge ended abruptly in 1974 as he was vanquished by striking mineworkers. Slade's term in office expired just as suddenly in Cardiff in 2006, although in this case it was his players' apparent withdrawal of labour that brought about his final defeat.
After Heath and Wilson came James Callaghan. Callaghan was a good man who took office at a bad time, overtaken by economic crisis and other events beyond his control, and lastly presided over an infamous 'winter of discontent'. It's all pretty much the same as Paul Groves really.
Callaghan lost the 1979 election to Thatcher, of course. Thatcher was driven by strong beliefs about how things should be done. She was notoriously ruthless and autocratic, and heeded no-one's opinion but her own. She stayed in charge for a long, long time. And she polarised opinion sharply between those who believed she was a great leader and those who insist to this day that she is the Antichrist. Is any of this ringing any bells?
Thatcher won three elections, too, and Buckley has won three promotions so far – but maybe there's a closer parallel for our current leader. Winston Churchill's victories out on the field of combat, after all, were all the more remarkable given the bitter opposition and in-fighting among his own supporters back home.
Wilson was the first media-friendly PM, cosying up to the Beatles and reeling off smile after smile after soundbite to distract the people from impending economic catastrophe. In this he bears a striking resemblance to Lennie Lawrence, the smooth-talking Town boss who told us the 2001 cup win at Liverpool was "the best result in the club's history" while his team was plunging down the league and recovering from a Chinese centre-half on £12,000 a week.
There are plenty more uncanny similarities between British prime ministers and managers of Grimsby Town. Sir Alec Douglas-Home was Wilson's foe in the 1964 general election. He may have been a doddery old Tory toff, while Nicky Law could have doubled for a terrifying nightclub doorman – but both were in the job for barely five minutes, both still managed to leave things in an even bigger mess than when they began, and people forget they both even existed until some tactless klutz reminds them. (Sorry about that.)
Between Wilson's two premierships came Edward Heath, whose spell in charge ended abruptly in 1974 as he was vanquished by striking mineworkers. Slade's term in office expired just as suddenly in Cardiff in 2006, although in this case it was his players' apparent withdrawal of labour that brought about his final defeat.
After Heath and Wilson came James Callaghan. Callaghan was a good man who took office at a bad time, overtaken by economic crisis and other events beyond his control, and lastly presided over an infamous 'winter of discontent'. It's all pretty much the same as Paul Groves really.
Callaghan lost the 1979 election to Thatcher, of course. Thatcher was driven by strong beliefs about how things should be done. She was notoriously ruthless and autocratic, and heeded no-one's opinion but her own. She stayed in charge for a long, long time. And she polarised opinion sharply between those who believed she was a great leader and those who insist to this day that she is the Antichrist. Is any of this ringing any bells?
Thatcher won three elections, too, and Buckley has won three promotions so far – but maybe there's a closer parallel for our current leader. Winston Churchill's victories out on the field of combat, after all, were all the more remarkable given the bitter opposition and in-fighting among his own supporters back home.
Labels: buckley, fa cup, groves, huddersfield, lawrence, politics, prime minister, slade
Friday, 26 October 2007
Whose shoes are the greenest?
Town's opponents this weekend, Bradford City, may be down towards the bottom of the fourth division, but an environmental study published last week ranks Bradford top of the league of Britain's greenest cities.
Blundell Park should witness a clash of the ecological titans tomorrow, then, given the new pecking order of football on the Humber – because when Town fans look at the league positions of Hull and Scunthorpe, Grimsby turns a particularly vivid shade of green as well.
True, the Mariners have a long way to go in the battle against global warming. Substantial areas of the polar icecaps melt every time Town concede another daft goal and waves of heat emanate from Alan Buckley's head. And the worldwide average temperature increases by as much as 1ºC for every month that Town spend outside the promotion positions because of all the hot air generated by the internet messageboards.
The club's new stadium, if it comes to fruition, is unlikely to enhance our green credentials. Out-of-town developments are notorious for encouraging car use, and out-of-town football grounds are doubly notorious for having massive car parks with only one exit road, so that after you've sat and watched rubbish football for an hour and a half you have to sit in your car with your engine running for another hour and a half while you queue up to get out of the bloody place and forget about the whole miserable experience.
Furthermore, let us not overlook the club's habit of rescheduling daytime matches for the peculiar timeslot of Friday night. Not only is Friday night football a blasphemy against all that is good and holy on God's sweet earth: it also incurs unnecessary floodlight use. By the time the club suits have been through the fixture list with a red pen, the club must have a carbon footprint big enough to melt Alaska.
Grimsby's contribution towards saving the planet should not go unrecognised, however. One of the key messages of the green movement is to buy local and cut down on the air miles travelled by the goods we consume before they reach us. And Alan Buckley, to his ecological credit, has always operated a 'buy British' transfer policy, in stark contrast to the carbon emissions racked up while Lennie Lawrence and Russell Slade shipped in 19 trialists every week from France, Norway and the Democratic Republic of Congo.
Most of all, a truly sustainable society, rather than depending upon throwaway goods, builds things to last, so that sturdy, reusable shopping bags, for instance, are preferable to plastic carriers. And while the Mariners have recently tended towards the use of disposable managers, it's a fine example of recycling to use the same one three times over.
Blundell Park should witness a clash of the ecological titans tomorrow, then, given the new pecking order of football on the Humber – because when Town fans look at the league positions of Hull and Scunthorpe, Grimsby turns a particularly vivid shade of green as well.
True, the Mariners have a long way to go in the battle against global warming. Substantial areas of the polar icecaps melt every time Town concede another daft goal and waves of heat emanate from Alan Buckley's head. And the worldwide average temperature increases by as much as 1ºC for every month that Town spend outside the promotion positions because of all the hot air generated by the internet messageboards.
The club's new stadium, if it comes to fruition, is unlikely to enhance our green credentials. Out-of-town developments are notorious for encouraging car use, and out-of-town football grounds are doubly notorious for having massive car parks with only one exit road, so that after you've sat and watched rubbish football for an hour and a half you have to sit in your car with your engine running for another hour and a half while you queue up to get out of the bloody place and forget about the whole miserable experience.
Furthermore, let us not overlook the club's habit of rescheduling daytime matches for the peculiar timeslot of Friday night. Not only is Friday night football a blasphemy against all that is good and holy on God's sweet earth: it also incurs unnecessary floodlight use. By the time the club suits have been through the fixture list with a red pen, the club must have a carbon footprint big enough to melt Alaska.
Grimsby's contribution towards saving the planet should not go unrecognised, however. One of the key messages of the green movement is to buy local and cut down on the air miles travelled by the goods we consume before they reach us. And Alan Buckley, to his ecological credit, has always operated a 'buy British' transfer policy, in stark contrast to the carbon emissions racked up while Lennie Lawrence and Russell Slade shipped in 19 trialists every week from France, Norway and the Democratic Republic of Congo.
Most of all, a truly sustainable society, rather than depending upon throwaway goods, builds things to last, so that sturdy, reusable shopping bags, for instance, are preferable to plastic carriers. And while the Mariners have recently tended towards the use of disposable managers, it's a fine example of recycling to use the same one three times over.
Labels: bradford, buckley, environment, global warming, hull, lawrence, recycling, scunthorpe, slade, transfers, transport, travel
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