24 hours from Pyewipe

Some people are determined that there's nobody worse off than them. This is the premise behind Monty Python's famous Four Yorkshiremen, who argue over which of them had the most deprived childhood. Rather less well known is the sequel, Four Yorkshiremen and a Yellowbelly, which ends like this:

Fourth Yorkshireman: "We 'ad to live in a shoebox, get up at two in t' mornin', work 29 hours a day down t' mill, and when we got home our dad would slice us in two wi' t' bread knife."
Yellowbelly: "You think that's bad? We 'ad to go an' watch Grimsby Town."

If you look at the balance sheets, though, there are quite a few clubs worse off than the Mariners. But debt seems to work in a strange way in football. Swindon are £5m in the red but this didn't stop them signing Chris Blackburn, Miguel Comminges, Kaid Mohamed, Steve Adams, Jon-Paul McGovern and Billy Paynter in the summer. Coventry's debt totals around £38m yet they maintain a second-flight squad of almost 30 players. And Town are pretty much unable to sign anyone because the club still owes HM Revenue & Customs about £350,000.

Another way to gauge who's worst off is to listen to football phone-ins on the radio. These don't give a very accurate picture, however, as they are invariably dominated by lengthy rants about their underperforming, poverty-stricken clubs by supporters of Fulham or Wolves.

But if you go by the league table, there are only four Football League clubs worse off than the Mariners. This is Dagenham & Redbridge's first ever season in the league, though, so they're probably enjoying it more than we are. Someone needs to tell them it starts losing a bit of its sheen after 107 years.

Lincoln are unexpectedly struggling after a string of top-seven finishes since 2003. But at least our county neighbours can take comfort from the fact that they are unlikely to suffer the heartbreak of defeat in the promotion play-offs this season.

The other two sides really are in trouble. Wrexham's former chairman tried to evict them from their ground, and then they dropped into the fourth division because of the 10-point penalty incurred by entering administration. Then they came within a week of being thrown out of the league. Still, they stayed up last season at the expense of Boston, so it's not all bad.

Probably the worst off of all are Mansfield, this weekend's visitors to Blundell Park. The Stags are still owned by the reviled Keith Haslam, who took interest-free loans out of the club and paid himself a handsome salary for running it. As they kick off tomorrow bottom of the league, many of their supporters would say he has run it into the ground.

Labels: coventry, dagenham, debt, finances, fulham, lincoln, mansfield, monty python, poverty, swindon, wolves, wrexham

The postal workers are striking; and, as usual, the media are much less concerned with telling us why than with portraying them as selfish, heartless swine whose fight for 18-hour lunch breaks and retirement at 45 on full pay will just be all the sweeter if five-year-old Sophie here in the studio doesn't receive her birthday cards tomorrow.

But changes being imposed at the Post Office could mean the workers end up with no shift patterns at all and just sit at home by the phone every day, waiting to be called in whenever. I did this when I was a factory temp, and it was horrible. Town fans underwent almost the same thing last season, when GTFC and Chester rearranged a postponed fixture at just five days' notice, and even the lady who runs the jacket potato stand couldn't get a babysitter in time.

Occasionally footballers have considered a strike. The issue was simply that their union, the PFA, wanted more of the Premiership's TV money, although I do like the notion of Wayne Rooney and Ashley Cole calling each other "comrade" at England training and taking time out between running round cones to discuss overthrowing the machinery of capitalism and handing the means of production to the oppressed proletariat.

But when top-flight footballers threaten to withdraw their labour it's not that much of a threat, since the England players stage unofficial walkouts several times a year already. Whenever the national team plays a friendly half of them seem to be working on a go-slow protest and the other half have suspiciously phoned in sick.

It says something about the popularity of football, though, that players have considered industrial action as an effective means of bringing about change. You can't really imagine a governing body being brought to its knees and caving in to a list of players' demands in order to head off the chilling danger of an all-out golfers' strike.

Derby County players famously came close to strike action to have Brian Clough reinstated as their manager in 1973. A similar situation was unlikely when Alan Buckley was sacked by tonight's opponents Rochdale in 2003, as the man who has got Town promoted three times is regarded by some Dale fans as one of the worst managers they've had.

But while most managers depend chiefly on money as the key to building a successful team, the most important thing for Buckley is time. And at Rochdale – as well as Lincoln and West Brom, for that matter – he wasn't given enough of it.

Town have to make sure we don't make the same mistake again now. And for that we might need a few striking fans to return to Blundell Park.

Labels: buckley, chester, clough, derby, england, industrial action, lincoln, patience, post office, rochdale, striking, west brom