Hey Dr Beeching

My friend Mark has a theory that no film featuring time travel can ever be bad. And I think no song featuring trains can ever be bad. Well, not if I've written it. So I thought: if I write a song about trains AND time travel, it's sure to be ace! And so I finished writing this just in time to play at the Indietracks festival in August 2007 (like, the day before!), which also featured trains, and was also ace. And come on – who hasn't fantasised about changing the course of history by travelling back in time to slap a few bad guys?

What do you mean, too much time on my hands?

Hey Dr Beeching,
I never figured out quite why
they gave you the railways
after you worked for ICI
It seems to me that
this was a fatal culture clash
cos they're a service
not a way of making cash

Hey Richard Beeching,
it could've been much worse, I guess
You were a doctor
at least not with the NHS
I wouldn't like to
have been your patient, cos instead
of giving treatment
you'd have killed them all stone dead

Hey Dr Beeching,
in my dreams I drive a train,
flip the reverser,
it's 1962 again
and it's my mission
when I travel back in time
to kill some people
and prevent a greater crime

I'd take Mugabe
I'd take out Maggie Roberts too
I'd take out Pinochet
but first I'd come for you
and I'd be tempted
to tie you screaming to the tracks
but your own weapon
would be the best, so it's the axe

To stop you in your tracks
I'm giving you the axe
I'm turning your own axe back on you

I want to go back to the songs page
I want to go back to the home page please, ta